A group of previously unknown researchers stunned the medical community today by announcing they had discovered that smoking cures diabetes. The group from the Universidad Tontos de Abril has been conducting research on diabetic gophers for the past two years. Their findings suggest that the gophers who abstain from smoking endure diabetic complications such as obesity, thirst, and dizziness, yet the gophers who light up spend their time frolicking about, playing games, building sand structures, and listening to jazz in dark clubs. 

“We realize that some people may be shocked by these results,” said head researcher Dr. Joe Camel. “However, the gophers that smoke are clearly enjoying life to the fullest. We have even nicknamed their habitat ‘Flavour Country’.”

Other groups of physicians were quick to condemn the study calling it foolish.

» Mexican Medical Journal