I read the headline, clicked on this story and then promptly had to leave my office to change my soiled pants.

On Tuesday, Biology Letters - a journal of the Royal Society - released a report on the discovery of an eight-foot long sea scorpion. These super-species are believed to be ancestors of the scorpions you would see today, albeit a tad bit larger (as in the same-size-as-a-Smart-Car larger). It is believed these scorpions possessed cannibalistic tendencies, fighting then eating one another, and were likely eliminated at some point by large fish with jaws and teeth. According to Wikipedia, most species of scorpions do not possess enough venom in their bodies for their stings to be fatal to humans. I bet that statistic changes dramatically if you start factoring in the amount of venom found in beasts longer than the average male is tall.

Last year, researchers reported that scorpion venom attacks tumors and could be used in the treatment of life-threatening brain tumors. Does that mean if we found a way to bring these monster scorpions back to life and breed them, their venom would be plentiful and could serve as a potential cure for brain tumors?

Of course, then you would have to deal with the problem of cannibalistic, Godzilla-sized scorpions curing terminal illness and then overtaking New York. That sounds like a plot the genius minds responsible for Snakes on a Plane would come up with.

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