See that sock monkey?  Made in the USA, baby, and yours for only $30!  Three dollars almost seems too expensive, but thirty?!  You've got to be kidding!

How about a $160 rocking horse?  Or a $210 wooden wagon?  Too pricey?  Well as far as cheaper options go, you can always get your kids a nifty gyroscope or an oh-so-cool wooden top.

This is the lame state locally-made toys are in.  They suck.  They suck big-time.  They really, really suck.  Did I mention they suck?  Well, they do.  That's why I put it in the headline.

This is the reason why we risk serious injury and blindness by letting our kids play with licensed toys that are manufactured in China and slathered in lead paint and battery acid.  You have to drive past eight Toys 'R Us stores to get across town to the only "alternative" toy store only to discover that your only green-not-made-in-china-eco-friendly toy option is a poorly made wooden donkey that costs as much as a Playstation 3?!  Your kids won't just be disappointed, you could actually end up dead or seriously injured by Boxing Day with such a crappy gift.

If you hit the jump you can see other exceptional examples of suckage at Lehman's online store.  (BTW- I'm not ragging on Lehman's here.  Lehman's is a great source for all kinds of great eco-friendly products.  I just want to point out that Americans can't make a decent Dora the Explorer doll to save their lives.)

Hit the jump.  Buy the expensive sock monkey.  Go America!

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